10 years with nothing to show

Wednesday was my 10 year anniversary at my company. Nobody knew. I didn’t bother saying anything either. What’s the point. After 10 years the only thing I have to show from this job is a $3500 increase in my payscale and a mental disorder to go with it. The mental disorder if a more recent aquirement – ever since I switched departments. The advertising department is a vicious place to work. Not that the people are monsters or anything. They’re just all so self assured, they never do anything wrong (just ask them) and it’s all about them. Their needs. Forget what they do to everyone else because of their demands, just get it done.

I technically work in the art department side, but we’re all in the same room together. That in and of itself a cruel thing to do. Artist are sensitive by nature and while I lack the talent to truly call myself an artist, I have enough sensitivity to spare for the others.

Lately too, I’ve been screwing up. I know this probably because my company is in financial trouble and we’re all waiting for the death knell. On the other hand, maybe it’s malaise at having worked for a place for 10 LONG years and not even getting an email from H/R saying Happy Anniversary.

Anyways, I’m not screwing up on purpose, it’s more a lack of thoroughness that’s causing the trouble. I’m one of those people who’s never been able to “slide” through life and still have things come out ok. If I even take a 10 minute  non-smoke break from my desk, I’m being asked “where were you?”

Anyway, enough with the whine whine whine. Would I like some cheese with my whine?

I found a job in North Carolina. I’m wondering if I should apply for it? Admittidly, the chances of getting an interview are slim to nill, but the idea of shaking up mine and my husbands lifes is a very scary idea. Scary enough to keep me from even applying. Sad, isn’t it. Here I am, miserable in my life circumstances and too scared to change them. Whine, whine whine…


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