Well, I finally did it. I pulled the plug on my Myspace page. Considering how often I actually talked to people on Myspace (maybe once a month), it’s taken me a long time to do this. I hated loosing all the personalizing I’d done to my page, but then again, how often do I visit myself. And I hate giving up keeping up on people, but truely, it was harming me more than it was helping.
I struggle (and I do mean struggle) with depression. Signing on and seeing all the stuff old friends were doing with their lives while mine lay in bleak contrast would drag me down. My life feels like a failure compared to everyone elses. But my life is not a failure. I’m married to the love of my life (yes, even after 3 years!) and I have 2 cats that love the dickens out of me and a couple of really good aquaintances that would probably be better friends if I let them. I’ve got a career with a company that I’ve been with since getting my Associates Degree – 10 years this July. And yes, it’s only an associates degree as compared to other peoples Master’s and double Bachlors, etc., but see this is what I’m talking about. Comparing, comparing, comparing. It’s not healthy. And I’ve been hanging onto those past relationships, comparing present ones…
So, in an attempt to be a healthier me, I’m cutting that weight that weighs me down. This blog is for me, not about anyone who reads it and my photos are for me, not anyone who views them. If I want feedback, then I’ll post them on Tabblo. And even that is a dangerous pitfall if I expect too much back. From now on, I’m going to attempt to live here, live now and occaisionally live in fiction because it helps me get through the day and I love a good story. 🙂
So, I’m officially starting over. Yeah! Go Me!