November 3, 2006
Once upon a time there was a girl named Stephenie. She drove everywhere, loved to drive and drove long distances.
Her first car, a Pontiac Sunfire had the misfortune of granting her with three flat tires. She figered that it was a bit odd to get that many flat tires in the few years she owned the car, but then again, that particular car was jinxed. After all it was an electrical mess and had been in three accidents before the forth one totaled it.
Then came the big red truck. There was only one flat tire with the big red truck. The truck was three years old when she bought it and it still had the original tires on it, so a flat was not too big of a surprise.
Lastly is Stella, Stephenie’s current car. Stephenie loves Stella. Stella is her little blue convertible. Stella was 16 years old when Stephenie bought her. Stella got a flat. And the spare didn’t hold air. And the tires had to be special ordered. Stephenie ended up replacing all four tires on Stella because they were all bald and would likely blow, one after the other, pop, pop, pop. This is what the tire store told her. She thought she would be in good shape after getting four BRAND NEW TIRES.
Well, Stephenie was wrong. About eight months after Stephenie had replaced all four tires, she got a flat. Late at night. In another town. Tony, the brave and handsome husband came and rescued her. The next day, she had to drive to the edge of Chicago to get her tire fixed, because no one else in the state had the tire she needed. But eventually they got the tire fixed.
This meant Stephenie was now up to 6 flat tires. It wasn’t until her seventh (yes boys and girls, 7 flat tires in 7 years) that Stephenie realized she was carrying around a tire gremlin. And apparently the gremlin has developed a taste for hard to find, often needing to be special ordered, not in until Monday or Tuesday tires.
She hasn’t ever actually seen the gremlin, but she knows he exists. How else can you possibly explain seven flat tires in seven years. Averaging one tire per year, but in reality, three in the last twelve months alone.
But never fear. Now that Stephenie is aware of the tire gremlin, she will not rest until she finds the little bastard and kills him. Though not with her car. And not by running him over because being a tire gremlin, he’s likely to take out all four tires at once if she does. And frankly, she’s a little sick of flat tires.