November 30, 2006
So if you look at my pictures, you will see my Christmas tree, which I’m very proud of. I do pretty Christmas trees. They’re eclectic like me, no theme, just ornaments I love and many, many lights. I’m a light whore. I can’t get enough lights.
There are about 800 lights on that tree. It’s a pencil tree for those who are wondering why my tree is so skinny. It fits my tiny apartment perfectly. Anywho, 800 lights. There used to be 1000 lights. The lights started to die last year which was fine. They’d been on the tree a couple of years. I don’t take them off every year since the tree doesn’t dissassemble. I mearly put some garbage bags over it and tote it to the shedd. But I’m getting off track. As I was saying, there used to be 1000 lights on the tree. Since some had died, I undid the entire tree this year. I tested every strand as I pulled it off, throwing the ones that were even half dead in the trash, putting the ones that were still good in individual piles so they wouldn’t get all tangled.
When the tree was completely naked, I started to put them all back on, testing every stand a second time to make sure it actually worked. I had four strands on (400 lights), covering about the top 1/3 of the tree when I had to stop to get ready for Thanksgiving dinner (I always start my Christmas decorating on Thanksgiving day. It’s a tradition). I plugged the tree in to admire my handiwork, only to see that the very top of the tree was completely dark. “Nooooooo” I yelled. “I don’t believe it!!!”. Tony very calmly suggested that it was just a loose something and to shake it a little. So I did. One half of the strand popped back on. Ok. Maybe if i shook it a little more.
I throttled that tree, and still there remained a black hole at the top of my tree. My flocked tree.
Do you know what flocking is? It’s fake snow that has hardened into very sharp edges. I don’t recommend flocked branches on trees that have to have lights re-attached every year, unless you have work gloves thin enough to allow you to manuver the the lights around each branch. Otherwise, your hand will have the crap beat out of them by the tree. This is the other reason that I don’t undo the lights every year. But again, I digress.
To hear my husband tell the story, there may have been some ranting that took place and he swears on a stack of bibles that I kept yelling “I hate you! I hate you, I hate you! Quite defying me! I can’t believe you’re defying me!” Obviously he’s lying. But if you look at the picture of the tree again, you’ll notice a definite dark spot near the top of the tree.