Groundhog’s Day

February 2, 2007

I know, intellectually, that Punxsutawney Phil is a defenseless overgrown rodent. And I also know that the “celebration” of Groundhog Day is based on a German superstition. But, that said, I really think someone should outlaw this blasted “holiday” as it’s contributing in a huge way to mid-winter depression.

Here we are, February 2, with a high of 10 degrees and a weekend high forcast of 2 with a -20 windchill factor. And yet, for the first time since 1999, that damn rodent did NOT see his shadow. “Early Spring! Early Spring!” the little children chant around an imaginary May Pole. Yeah. I’ll buy the early Spring bit when I see it. And here’s the thing. According to the calendar, the actual 1st day of Spring isn’t until March 21st. So even if it is an “Early Spring”, it will probably just be a Spring that’s arriving on time. There won’t be any early Spring. And lets face facts – for the sake of all mankind, we better hope there isn’t an early Spring. If it were to warm up to 50 degrees or higher next week, it would spell terrible things for the earth at large. Even though we’d all be reveling in it, we’d all pay for it in the end in a big, big way.
What I’m trying to say is that even if it’s an “on-time” Spring, it’s not for almost 2 months yet. Do you see where I’m coming from with the depression stuff? I just depressed you by saying that there isn’t a chance in hell of warm weather for almost 2 months. And that’s only because it was freaking cloudy in Punxsutawney, PA this morning. Think about the years when the little bastard DOES see his shadow and they (the wicked, sinful media) gleefully tell us “6 more weeks of winter”. Like it might not be such a bad thing after all.

In general, lets return to basics. It’s the second day of February. Intellectually we know it’s going to be cold for the rest of this month and into next. But because of this unsuspecting, oversized rodent, that is forcefully yanked from his hibernation (do groundhogs hibernate?) it has us all considering Spring. The mere thought of many cold days ahead makes me want to crawl back under the duvet, with my warm brownies and milk, and alternate sleeping and watching movies for the duration of this hellish season. In closing, don’t consider Spring. It will just make you want to hurt yourself.

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