Computers and Abuse

October 24, 2006

It’s my firm belief that in order to maintain a good running computer, you must insult it on a regular basis wether it needs it or not.

Computer not running fast enough for you? Call it a few hardy names.
Here’s a perfect example. We have these fabulouso Dells with 21″ flat screen monitors at work. I am very fond of these computers, yet the monitor occiassionally deems it fit to defy me. It won’t raise or lower of turn in the direction I want it too, even though it is designed to do so. At these times, I feel the need to call it a dirty bastard. Sorry for my lanuage to the more sensitive of you reading this.

Other times, when I’ve opened two pagination screens, Photoshop, Illustrator and the web and it freezes when I try to bringup one more program, I call it a worthless piece of crap and threaten to throw it into the river.

Now, some might think, that I am ungrateful and demanding and I should be thankful that I have such a beautiful piece of equipment to work on. And I am, but I also firmly believe that if I were to tell my computer all of the above, it would forthwith refuse to service me in the manner to which I have become accustomed and our relationship would disintigrate. Does this make me a twisted person?

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